Yes I am the proud mommy/mom/mother/mama of not 1 but 2 boys! How do I know? Let me count the ways....
1. Not only are there rocks in my dryer, there is sand and dead worms.
2. You know all the ways to make crashing noises with your mouth and there are like 82 ways!
3. NOTHING is safe! EVERYTHING will be used in a bathroom experiment. Amazing what happens when you mix toothpaste, $100+ a bottle parfum, hairgel, baby lotion, deodorant and a tampon..
4. "Fire is a magnet" is an understatment....fire, fireplace, firepit, magnifying glass, matches, wood, oven, gas stove, charcoal, ANYTHING that can cause fire is a thing of beauty.
5. They completely undress to go to the bathroom. And don't re-dress when finished using the bathroom.
6. You hear yourself saying, "Where are your underwear? Please go put them back on. We have company."
7. You hear things like, " Mom, I don't need a shower. I washed off in the fountain."
8. You say things like, "Please don't eat that." or "Stop drinking that." And THAT is usually something like PlayDough water.
9. You know exaclty what PlayDough water is!
10. You have matchbox cars in your make-up bag, Thomas the train in your handbag and Legos in your tote bag.
11. You have given up keeping that Ralph Lauren $200 a roll wallpaper in your kitched pristene. Now you just plan to replace it before you sell your house.
12. You no longer blink when a 2 year old asks you if you have a penis.
13. And when asked by a 4 year old "Mom if you dont have a penis then how does your tee-tee come out?" you actually have an answer...
14. You pray every day that yours is not the child that says the infamous line in Kindergarten Cop: Boys have penis' and girls have vaginas!!!
What I imagined my first pregnancy would be like: Take test. Positive! Look in the mirror and notice awesome pregnancy glow, pick up helpful books, rock ...